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A New Beginning
(This story was written by jynx and posted on the Utopia Skye forums on July 13, 2005. It occurs some time after A Farewell.) ---- The voices flooded back through her head. The voices were of the people closest to her heart. They whispered her name telling her to not forget them and they loved her. They whispered memories and messages long forgotten. They whispered sorrow and loss. They whispered all her regrets and things she wanted to say. They whispered her fears telling her to forget. One voice surfaced above all the others telling her come to him. She basked in the warmth of the voice knowing it would comfort her. “Come to me Shadah....” The night is black as the abyss with no moon in sight. The trees sway slightly as the wind blows through them. “I have been waiting for you.” The elder Elf whispers in soft Darnassian as she enters the clearing. He looks just as she remembers with his thick white hair and glowing pale yellow eyes. “Jaspian I have missed you so.” She runs hugging him tight to her. “I have missed you as well my priestess.” He whispers to her. “I came because your voice called to me.” She looked up into his eyes letting all the hurt and confusion show. “Tell me what is happening Shadah.” She sighs softly turning walking away from him. “The voice is talking again.” “What does it say?” She looks back at him shaking softly. “It tells me it is my fault.” Jaspian nods softly walking to her. Rubbing her arms absently, she sighs softly. “I am seeing scenes from a battle that I was not in.” Placing his hands on her shoulders, he whispers. “What are the scenes?” She looks up at the sky looking for some glimpse of light not sure if she should speak them or not. Not wanting them to be real. “There is a caravan in the distance. It is burning. The voice blames me. It says if I was there they would have been saved. Then I see the battlefield with all the fallen.” She looks up with tears in her eyes. “I hear a voice calling for me hoping I am safe. It tells me it loves me.” He hugs her closely to him as she starts to shake. “What do you think it means?” he asks. The feeling of guilt comes over her again. After a moment, she tries to steady her voice. “It means he is dead and the feeling was right. I heard his voice calling for me and I wasn't there.” She starts to weep silently. “Shadah you can not blame yourself. You had to go on this quest. He would understand that.” Shadah shakes her head in despair. “I told him I would be there always for him. I told him on the road between Darkshire and Strangethorn that I would protect him Jaspian.” Remembering back to that night, the dream, she lets the regret feel her. “Shadah he is always with you. He lives in your memory and heart.” “I failed him like I failed my mother Jaspian.” The anguish is heavy in her voice as she stands there letting the regrets of old wrap around her. Jaspian grabs her shoulders shaking her. “And where were you Shadah?” His tone is strong and harsh. Shaking her head, she refuses to answer. “Tell me where you were!” He demands. “I was in the monastery!” She screams. “I was fighting for my life while he was dying.” She tosses his hands off her. “Is that what you want Jaspian, to know that I failed him because I wasn't there? Because I choose to fight this instead of letting it lead me” Looking at her, he remains quiet and patient. “Shadah you were trying to save yourself. There is nothing wrong in that. You did what you had to do.” Her eyes flashed with anger. “I should have been with him. I should have saved him. That is what I was meant to do.” She spat the last out in her own harsh tongue. “What good is all this?” She lets the power flow over her fingers providing a light in the vast darkness. “If I can not save those I love? Those I care about and need in my life?” Starting to shake, she falls to her knees. He walks over quietly sitting in front her. “What else does it show you?” Her eyes show the tortured look of a child. “You saw your mother?” She nods softly crawling into his lap before she starts to cry. “I am sitting at her grave waiting. It is dark like it is tonight.” “That was the night you first heard the voice wasn’t it?” The mixture of old anger, hate, regret, and hopelessness filled her. “I killed him like I killed my mother. I wasn’t able to save either.” She whispers. Jaspian wraps his arms around her while she cries. “My child it isn’t you fault.” He holds her like he did when she was a child after her mother's death. “You can not save everyone my child. You can only do what is in your powers and have faith in Elune.” She looks up at him wiping away the tears. “Is Elune testing me again, my teacher” He smiles softly looking down at her. “Elune tests us all Shadah. Do you remember what I told you about death so long ago?” He asks her softly. She nods slowly against his shoulder. “Death is a new chapter in our life. In death we give life again.” He whispers back to her. “Those you love are still with you. They are in flowers you pick and give the children. The water you love so much.” Jaspian lifts her chin so she is looking at him. “He is with you child. He will always live in your heart. He would not want you grieve like this” She sighs softly. “You know Shadah that to move through this path things would change.” Looking up at him, she frowns. “I did not want him dead. I wanted him to accept this as I ask everyone to accept.” Stroking her cheek lovingly, he looks down at her. “Would he have been able to accept this? I have watched you through these trails. You have grown in both power and presence. You do not need someone to protect you anymore.” He starts to fade away into the night. “How would your young elf do with the new Shadah?” Shadah wakes to the bustling noise of the inn. Blinking in the bright light, she looks around lost. “Where am I?” She thinks. Then memory of the previous day follows back to her mind. “I have returned to this place alone and I will stay that way” As she prepares for her travel she remembers Jaspian’s question. Shaking her head softly, she knows the answer but also knows this is what she chooses. Category:Warcraft Skye RP